took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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