oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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