You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
