I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
