Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't think brook has ever known best
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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