We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
