omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
