Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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