If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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