watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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