I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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