The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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