News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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