i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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