I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
