Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
