I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
