so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
