I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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