I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
