i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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