i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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