my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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