i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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