dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
