He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize