Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize