I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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