You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Everything about him screamed your future.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
