Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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