I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have tasted many bathrooms
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
