batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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