Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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