It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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