you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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