Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize