idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
