I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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