I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she told me i tasted like america
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
