I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
