And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
