I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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