Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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