You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
