Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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