so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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