i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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