You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
