were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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