Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
