she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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