Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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