I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
