When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
