It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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