I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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