is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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