I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
