Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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