He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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