redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
