True but thats because hes a fetus.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What happened to fro yo and sex?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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