So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
