Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am mentally ready for anal.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
